PHOTO OF A TOTAL ECLIPSE- VERY RARE

MY LAMENT..... LOUSY EXCUSE FOR A SOLAR ECLIPSE

I am outraged (word borrowed from mad Democrats) that the coming solar eclipse has been sent over Kansas. I got on Vox, a web site dedicated to the defense of every dumb Liberal in Washington DC, and they have this cool animated graphic of the eclipse as I will see it in my Zip Code area. 

SEE VOX'S ECLIPSE PAGE HERE

I got cheated to say the least. All I get is PacMan. Vox then told me I could drive 616 miles northeast, and I would get to see a full eclipse and watch the cows in Kansas go to sleep. This full eclipse in the USA only comes around once every 99 years. The last total eclipse was in June of 1918. So, this is my only shot at it. I think I will cancel my life insurance. What is it good for if a person cannot get in on a full eclipse.

Actually, there was an eclipse back in 1977-79 in Washington DC when the Democrats controlled the House, the Senate, and the White House, and the US Constitution went into total eclipse. Obama enjoyed this same blessing in 2009-11 during which the Constitution was declared null and void.

We had an eclipse in the High Desert of California when I still lived there learning Liberal tolerance and good will. A horse had wandered onto the right of way of the Union Pacific Railroad, and when the eclipse came over, the horse went sound asleep. A train came along, turned the horse into compost, and scattered his remains all over the tracks. All that was left of him was a hairy tale.

A solar eclipse consists of the moon passing between the earth and the sun. This is a lot like when a deer jumps between you and on oncoming car at night and blacks out the head lights which the guy has on high beam. The relief is very brief, and the deer never knows what chaos it created.

Jules Janssen, a distant relative of mine in The Netherlands, was staring at a full eclipse in 1868 while visiting France. To his amazement, he could see a cloud around the sun, and he realized that there was a new element of truth to be seen. The new element he called helium. No one had been smart enough to peek at that cloud until Jules came along. We Dutchmen are now peeking at eclipses regularly to see if we can find shelium. It seems politically incorrect for men to have helium, while women must go without their own personal gas. (Rich puns suggest themselves here gentlemen.)

Actually, a recent discovery was made indicating that shelium is present on earth after all. It seems to be found only from three sources..... Mexican pinto beans,  Nancy Pelosi, and Maxine Waters.

My neighbor, blind Tom, asked me to warn you people not to stare at the eclipse. He did so long ago, and he fried his macular. The world needs more macular in men. Well, it could have been worse. Tom could have masticating and fried his glottis. Please do not let children read this stuff. I might warp them morally.

Even though the moon will cover the sun in St. Louis, something called the penumbra or the penultimate will still manage to slip around the moon and burn your eyes out. If you want to stare at the eclipse, go downtown to some welding shop, and borrow the hood the welder uses to look at his work in the hood.


You can also hold a Liberal Democrat's head between you and the sun. It will be dense enough to reduce the deadly rays of the sun.

So, have fun with science and astronomy as you enjoy the eclipse. Beware of sleeping horses standing in the road. And, do not inhale any helium (PC for that is personium). Helium, when inhaled, gives you a soprano voice, makes you grow breasts, and you have to use the ladies' restroom for life.

FLAT EARTH TAKES A BEATING

This post is about 75% comic relief, and 25% deadly.

What I mean is that there are Christians out there today who are going over the the flat earth theory. I have not been able to identify the center of gravity of this seduction. Someone must be driving this along.

In any case, Stefan Molyneux does an exceptional job of trying to take this seriously while you can see he is having a terrible time not to roar out with laughter. Stefan is an Atheist, but unlike most modern Atheists, Stefan is not a vicious beast about it. So, Stefan is fun to listen to. 

One more note: Stefan is an Anarchist of the benign variety. He has the idea that getting rid of all authority and laws would result in a contemplative society in which people did mostly nice things to one another out of survival instinct. He will, or course, get his wish during what the Bible calls the Great Tribulation.

But, you need to see how Stefan trashes the flat earth theory. I have had a very hard time to take these people seriously until the other day when I saw that Bill Schnoebelen had taken up on the flat earth notions. There is something very seductive about this.

The only people whom I could forgive for believing in the flat earth theory are folks in Iowa and Illinois. The highest thing in Illinois is an overpass on the interstate close to Springfield.

LET YO LITTLE LIGHT SHINE..... APPLICATION PLEASE?

This pastor was trying to do a bit of a light show to help him make his point. I do not remember a word he said other than, "Let you light shine."

But, he sure missed a great application for a lesson on using wisdom by cutting the video short.

You had to watch it twice, right?

DONNER UND BLITZ

Thunder and lightning again......


A solar flare coming tomorrow.


I will work in my greenhouse.


Ta Da

NIAGARA FALLS..... REALLY, IT DOES

I once stood on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls and looked at the water cascading over the edge. What a mighty scene. We went down into some sort of cave under the falls, put on rain coats provided, and we gasped in unison as millions of tons of water went down in front of us. It was not so awesome, but we gasped as water ran down our necks, COLD water.


People standing around were talking about how heroic some idiot was who went over the falls in a wooden barrel long ago. If I went over the falls in a bucket, I would make that guy look like small stuff. No one present had a spare bucket, so I had to postpone my great moment.


Anyway, what I wanted to discuss with my readers..... all of you with surging intellects and infinite curiosity..... is the way the falls wear away all the time from hydrological erosion. (That sounds contagious, don't it?)


You see, in the past before some bright engineer found a way to slow it, the falls eroded away at the rate of 10 feet a year. Now, it occurred to me to go back in time, back past the Bushian Age, the Rooseveltian age, the Neolithic Age, and the Neoprene Age, all the way back to the beginning of  the present evolutionary era. I did the math, based on 500,000,000 years, which is modest and quite generous to the effulgent intellects on high.


Rounded off, I show that Niagara Falls was 947,000 miles east of its present location when the whole globe done bust wide open and started flowing. Now, you must admit, that is quite a distance and a lot of rocks to wash away into the Atlantic Ocean. 


I would like to give full credit to Isaac Azimov, Stephen Hocking, and Richard Dawkins for their wise and reliable estimations of the time lapsed for evolution to make this hydrolic event possible. I must say, in great awe, "How in the name of creation did you men find the time to do this for us all?"