Thursday, February 2, 2012


I once stood on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls and looked at the water cascading over the edge. What a mighty scene. We went down into some sort of cave under the falls, put on rain coats provided, and we gasped in unison as millions of tons of water went down in front of us. It was not so awesome, but we gasped as water ran down our necks, COLD water.

People standing around were talking about how heroic some idiot was who went over the falls in a wooden barrel long ago. If I went over the falls in a bucket, I would make that guy look like small stuff. No one present had a spare bucket, so I had to postpone my great moment.

Anyway, what I wanted to discuss with my readers..... all of you with surging intellects and infinite curiosity..... is the way the falls wear away all the time from hydrological erosion. (That sounds contagious, don't it?)

You see, in the past before some bright engineer found a way to slow it, the falls eroded away at the rate of 10 feet a year. Now, it occurred to me to go back in time, back past the Bushian Age, the Rooseveltian age, the Neolithic Age, and the Neoprene Age, all the way back to the beginning of  the present evolutionary era. I did the math, based on 500,000,000 years, which is modest and quite generous to the effulgent intellects on high.

Rounded off, I show that Niagara Falls was 947,000 miles east of its present location when the whole globe done bust wide open and started flowing. Now, you must admit, that is quite a distance and a lot of rocks to wash away into the Atlantic Ocean. 

I would like to give full credit to Isaac Azimov, Stephen Hocking, and Richard Dawkins for their wise and reliable estimations of the time lapsed for evolution to make this hydrolic event possible. I must say, in great awe, "How in the name of creation did you men find the time to do this for us all?"


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