Call your boy to the computer, and let him watch this magnificent procedure. If you are home schooling, assign your youngster to write a research report on tugboats. Also, if you live within reasonable distance of a port, call a tugboat company and arrange a field trip, especially if you can arrive when they start the tug up.
AIR FORCE ONE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH; THERE WERE FIVE PASSENGERS ON BOARD, BUT ONLY FOUR PARACHUTES.
THE FIRST PASSENGER, OPRAH WINFREY, SAID, "I HAVE MY OWN TV SHOW AND I AM THE SMARTEST AND PRETTIEST WOMAN IN SHOW BUSINESS, SO AMERICANS DON'T WANT ME TO DIE." SHE TOOK THE FIRST PARACHUTE AND JUMPED OUT OF THE PLANE.
THE SECOND PASSENGER, JOHN MC CAIN , SAID, "I'M A SENATOR, AND A DECORATED WAR HERO FROM AN ELITE NAVY UNIT FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA." SO HE GRABBED THE SECOND PARACHUTE AND JUMPED.
THE THIRD PASSENGER, BARACK OBAMA SAID, "I AM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AND I AM THE SMARTEST EVER IN THE HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY, SOME EVEN CALL ME THE ANOINTED ONE." SO HE GRABBED THE PARACHUTE NEXT TO HIM AND JUMPED OUT.
THE FOURTH PASSENGER, BILLY GRAHAM, SAID TO THE FIFTH PASSENGER, A 10-YEAR-OLD SCHOOLGIRL, "I HAVE LIVED A FULL LIFE AND SERVED MY GOD THE BEST I COULD. I WILL SACRIFICE MY LIFE AND LET YOU HAVE THE LAST PARACHUTE." THE LITTLE GIRL SAID, "THAT'S OKAY, MR. GRAHAM. THERE'S A PARACHUTE LEFT FOR YOU. AMERICA'S SMARTEST PRESIDENT JUMPED WITH MY SCHOOLBAG ."
This is Lexington, Kentucky Principal Gerry Brooks spreading humor in the world of education.
This guy is the Art Buchwald of YouTube. He is so funny because he sounds so sincere as he lampoons life in the public school. I have done a lot of substitute teaching in my time, and this stuff is priceless.
This is my favorite:
GERRY BROOKS' YOUTUBE SITE FOR MORE FUN How about forwarding this blog post to your favorite teacher? Finally, have you volunteered for Kindergarten lunch room duty lately? You are really missing out on a great experience.
It is important, friends. South of the Mason Dixon Line any restaurant that does not serve grits will fail for sure. There are also two other items that better be on the menu. Fried okra and good biscuits. There are no bad biscuits in Tennessee. That is because any cafe with bad biscuits closed yesterday. So, how important are grits to southern folks? Let brother Jerry Clower explain it to you.
If you have been failing to live up to your expectations, is it possibly because you have let someone else define you? The truth is, we are all from minority groups of some sort.
That's me on the far right. Jesse paid us a visit in Tennessee via the Photo Shop skills of Jay Crosby.
I am a White Anglo Saxon American. But, I am a King James Bible only Fundamental Christian. I am also a US Army Veteran. I am from Texas, California, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Kentucky, Michigan, Arizona, Kenya, Tanzania, and Ethiopia.
And, I speak Swahili, and the walls of my home are covered with gongs and trinkets from Africa. I suspect none of you reading here belong to a minority that small.
So, who defines me?
Homeland Security says I am a potential terrorist because I am a Veteran and I carry a Bible and study prophecy. Honest, HLS believes that.
The Young Turks roar and use the F word when they talk about my group.
Barak Obama wants my group to shut up about Jesus Christ, as if Jesus has also become a "potential terrorist."
So, will we go quiet, and stop talking out in the open, about what we love and why life is good for us?
Will we let the media, the neighbor, some racist, a school teacher, or the President define us?
Please watch this TED Talk:
So, if you let the mob define you, they will then define what the world can expect from you. And, that will not be much.
Will you let them get away with that?
Philippians 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
So, you live in the city. That is no excuse to claim you have no time to go bass fishing. You may not have to go far to catch bass. So, you prefer live bait? Here it is. And, it is exciting..... You might even catch a snapper:
This post is about 75% comic relief, and 25% deadly.
What I mean is that there are Christians out there today who are going over the the flat earth theory. I have not been able to identify the center of gravity of this seduction. Someone must be driving this along.
In any case, Stefan Molyneux does an exceptional job of trying to take this seriously while you can see he is having a terrible time not to roar out with laughter. Stefan is an Atheist, but unlike most modern Atheists, Stefan is not a vicious beast about it. So, Stefan is fun to listen to.
One more note: Stefan is an Anarchist of the benign variety. He has the idea that getting rid of all authority and laws would result in a contemplative society in which people did mostly nice things to one another out of survival instinct. He will, or course, get his wish during what the Bible calls the Great Tribulation.
But, you need to see how Stefan trashes the flat earth theory. I have had a very hard time to take these people seriously until the other day when I saw that Bill Schnoebelen had taken up on the flat earth notions. There is something very seductive about this.
The only people whom I could forgive for believing in the flat earth theory are folks in Iowa and Illinois. The highest thing in Illinois is an overpass on the interstate close to Springfield.
This pastor was trying to do a bit of a light show to help him make his point. I do not remember a word he said other than, "Let you light shine." But, he sure missed a great application for a lesson on using wisdom by cutting the video short.
This politically correct rubbish is destroying a lot of fun. The following cartoon could not possibly be taken seriously, as if it is the definitive story telling us what life in Africa is like. I love the native Catholic priest. The White Queen is taken from stories claiming that in the Congo there was a tribe with a White queen they kidnapped at the coast and took to their Josh House to rule over them. If you believe that, I have a nice bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell you.
When I lived in Africa long ago, and when the natives said, "We would like to have you over for dinner," we did not go. There was a Catholic priest who was a missionary to the Congo. The natives grabbed him one day and threw him into a big pot and lit a fire under the pot. The Congolese meat inspector came along, took one look and the priest, and he said, "You cannot boil him, he is a Friar." This humor makes you want to throw up your arms in disgust, right?
James 4:13 Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: 14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. 15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. 16 But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil. 17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
This looks like great fun. And, it does something of a service to humanity. I have often thought that if I engage a criminal online who is spamming to sucker in gullible older adults, I am keeping a thug involved with me and not doing his dirt. CAUTION: Do get a special email address for this purpose so you can dump it when it gets to be too much.
Try the same thing with telemarketers. It is great fun to see how long you can keep them in suspense thinking you are still a potential sucker.
Now, how to torment a telemarketer:
The key to toying with a telemarketer is that he is told that as long as you say "Yes" to questions he is to keep trying to move forward with the scam. He is also told that he is to abandon you after you say "No" the third time. I have used the "No" by saying "No, No, No," and they hang up at once. So, see how long you can keep them trying by saying, "Yes."
Here is how to leave a telemarketer in suspense:
So, you gotta Jewish friend already. Put da guy to work for you:
Look, I know I don't post often to this blog. I have 14 blogs, and this one gets second most attention. So, try not to complain too much, OK?