GED TEST RESULTS ARE IMPROVING

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 18 year olds):   

Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs  (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q... What happens to your body as you age
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A.. Premature death

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow  (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A, The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U  (what!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.  (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight  (brilliant)

 AND THE BEST IS LAST:
Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.     (now we’re getting somewhere)

HAPPY 100TH DAY OF SCHOOL

Don't bug the Purncipal.

STARTING UP A TUG BOAT

Call your boy to the computer, and let him watch this magnificent procedure.

If you are home schooling, assign your youngster to write a research report on tugboats.

Also, if you live within reasonable distance of a port, call a tugboat company and arrange a field trip, especially if you can arrive when they start the tug up.

LEX PRIN STRIKES AGAIN

This is Lexington, Kentucky Principal Gerry Brooks spreading humor in the world of education.

This guy is the Art Buchwald of YouTube. He is so funny because he sounds so sincere as he lampoons life in the public school. I have done a lot of substitute teaching in my time, and this stuff is priceless.

Recent clip:

This is my favorite:

GERRY BROOKS' YOUTUBE SITE FOR MORE FUN

How about forwarding this blog post to your favorite teacher?

Finally, have you volunteered for Kindergarten lunch room duty lately? You are really missing out on a great experience.