MY LANGUAGE PLEASE

Thursday, November 27, 2014

A FIRST-- AN HONEST BANK COMMERCIAL


This is great. I love the way these people found a way to laugh at themselves and get my attention at the same time. I had to watch this twice.




Monday, November 3, 2014

AND NOW, LET US COME TO THE POINT




So, what is the point of this blog post?

I am not sure. In any case, you just learned that all you need to sharpen your pencils is a huge machine with a revolving drum with sand paper on it and a rolling device.

Never let it be said that you cannot find good practical information on modern living here.


Friday, October 24, 2014

PUTTING THE RUSH ON THE NATIVES


This is priceless. What zeal this lady has. She will use any entrance into the poor guy's life.

SEE THE VIDEO


AND NOW,
ANOTHER CHIMNEY STORY YOU WILL LIKE




Thursday, September 18, 2014

Saturday, September 6, 2014

DO YOU LOVE BAD NEWS? THIS IS JUST FOR YOU


Noel Coward, an English singer from long ago, announces the good news for you.

"There Bad Times Just Around the Corner"







Saturday, August 16, 2014

THEY PAY GOOD MONEY FOR THIS SHOW


If you ever go to such a restaurant, and if you want to sponsor someone, don't call me.

HA HA, you thought I would ask to go along. I would rather eat chess pie at the Dahlia Restaurant in Liberty Hill, Texas any day.

So, here is dessert the weird way:

Sunday, July 27, 2014

THEME SONG OF TEXAS LAND AND CATTLE STEAK HOUSE









Keep yo fork in hand in case the thang tries ta het out for the brushy woods nearby.



NYPD TAKE DOWN SPIDER MAN


This cool dude thought he was too tough for the cops in New York. 

Surprise, surprise, baby-- Go to jail and see if you can climb the walls.







Saturday, July 19, 2014

SO, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FROM A WATER BED?


This is classic German humor and tricks. They are not quite as cautious as the rest of us. So, we all can have a good laugh.




Sunday, July 13, 2014

STEVE MC GRANAHAN'S GARDENING TIPS





This exotic plant is one anyone would love to have in their garden. Steve shows the very unusual technique for growing the plant.










Friday, May 2, 2014

SELLING CAN BE MADE FUN


This Auzzie is a hoot, and the peeler seems like a real bargain after watching his tricks.

Enjoy



If this seems like the impossible for the ordinary person, think again. I had a friend in college who was a bit on the short side. He dressed in very plain but clean clothes. He was a bit soft spoken also. He had no chance being a salesman, right?

This guy put himself through Wheaton College selling pin cushion and needle threaders door to door on the week ends. People almost always asked why he was doing that, and he simply told them the truth, "I am working my way through college this way." On some weekends he sold packages of toilet paper. He reckoned that most homes were a bit low on the product, and that is only to a panic situation to not having milk or bread on hand. People bought the toilet paper, he and the customer had a good laugh, and he paid his tuition at Wheaton.

This may be the first time his secret has been told. So, never assume you cannot make a few bucks doing something, even selling. Just find something simple that people need, or that they THINK they need.


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Friday, April 4, 2014

AMAZING SKILL IS FOUND IN SIMPLE THINGS


And, these guys make me feel inferior just watching them. When I was in about seventh grade my cursive handwriting was getting so bad that the teacher committed blasphemy (for our school anyway) and asked me to start printing so she could read my writing. I have never stopped printing, but I now print so fast that at times I have to take a note I wrote to my wife or daughter to see if they can read it.

So, I really do admire these guys-- AND right out in the open where any mistake is public information.

Skil
Street typography from Tom Williams on Vimeo.



DAAAYO, ZEDAAAYO,
DAYLIGHT SOME AND ME WAN GO ZZZZZZZZZZZZ


Harry Belafonte zoned out for an interview.






Wednesday, March 19, 2014

DOES YOU CAT NEED A SHRINK?


This kitty sure went bonkers, and only a spaced our cat shrink could calm her nerves.



Saturday, February 15, 2014

OLYMPIC BADMINTON


Olympic badminton is high speed, high tech, and fierce. But, a cheap badminton set from Walmart will get you vastly more action than a pro set. Here is how.....




Olympic sampler:




Thursday, February 6, 2014

SOCHI WELCOMES OLYMPIC GUESTS



It all seems to be an old Russian tradition. Roughing it has been the Russian way for hundreds of years. But, after all the propaganda from Vladimir Putin and the Russian Olympic Committee, we were expecting just a little more of the modern touch than they offered.

Here are some Twitter comments and an article by the CBC correspondent:


My hotel has no water. If restored, the front desk says, "do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous." #Sochi2014

Water restored, sorta. On the bright side, I now know what very dangerous face water looks like. #Sochi #unfiltered

Also on the bright side: I just washed my face with Evian, like I'm a Kardashian or something.

Stacy McClair

___________________________________

Made new pal from La Presse as we struggled to find hotel. When we got to our (temporary) rooms his doorknob came off in hand #roadtosochi
___________________________________

This is the one hotel room @Sochi2014 have given us so far. Shambles. #cnnsochi

CNN booked 11 rooms in one @Sochi2014 media hotel five months ago. We have been here for a day and only one room is available. #cnnsochi

Harry Reekie- CNN reporter
___________________________________

Still waiting for "preparations" on hotel room to finish. Hoping they're origami-folding toilet roll, rather than, say, putting the roof on.

I have a room! No heating or internet, but it has a (single) bed at least...

Got back to hotel. Lift broken after half day in use. Trekked up stairs. Door to my floor (that'd be the fire door) locked. Utter farce.

Shaun Walker



People have asked me what surprised me the most here in Sochi. It's this. Without question ... it's ... THIS.
___________________________________

Ok, so my hotel doesn't have a lobby yet.


For those of you asking, when there's no lobby in your hotel, you go to the owner's bedroom to check in. #Sochi2014
___________________________________

Watch your step @Sochi2014 -- I've noticed on walkway and on sidewalks that not all man holes are always covered.
___________________________________

Harry Reekie of CNN Tweeted Dmitry Chernyshenko of Sochi's Olympic Committee:

Harry Tweets
@DChernyshenko Our media hotel is not ready Dmitry....11 rooms booked five months ago, only one ready. Please help.

Dmitry Answers @HarryCNN to believe you need just to turn back and to look at the mountains ;)
___________________________________

This is some half-assed bathroom design in #Sochi pic.twitter.com/0Eie9lnTT8

Matthew Dalton ‏@DJMatthewDalton
Wall Street Journal Reporter
___________________________________

Now, here is a great article by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation on his impressions of Sochi, and he has a more fair take on it by saying the impressions are at the extremes of pleasant and nasty. This seems to me to fit Russia just right.


Mant Tweets mentioned the stray dogs around which are being rounded up as people move around the city.

And, there a lot ways in Russia which they do not want you to do with a toilet.

I trust that the no fishing in the toilet rule is for comic relief. One is tempted to wonder if a fish could actually turn up in the toilet in Sochi.




Monday, January 27, 2014

MERLE TRAVIS- THIS IS REAL COUNTRY


I suspect Chet Atkins got his inspiration from Merle. Any of you  readers from Kentucky and Tennessee will love this real music. I especially think of the folks I spoke to in a little Bible church up a coal mining river valley in southern Kentucky in the town of Putney. 

For you people who never have been in Kentucky, that "u" in Putney has a pronunciation all its own. The deacon told me if I could not learn to say Putney right I would not get the offering. I learned, and I bet I will go back and visit those folks again some day.

He also told me I had come down there from Detroit, but I would go home to Deee-troit. 

So, here is the Nine Pound Hammer, a tool most essential to survival in Kentucky.



I have never seen double wides perched on the side of mountains like in Kentucky. They had one edge against the mountain and the rest of the double wide hanging on thin air. I asked how they got them into those spots and was told with a Caterpillar tractor. Once they get them there they are never moved again.


Friday, January 24, 2014

YO MAMMA SAY, "EAT YO APPLE"


Yo Mamma from the hood is pushing apples under the counter.


We need a blood test of NFL players for malic acid.



Saturday, January 18, 2014

THE GIBSON BROTHERS FROM NORTH CAROLINA


I just needed to show you a bluegrass group
that is all music and no affect.




BUT, when these boys get crazy,
no one can keep up with them.....






Saturday, January 4, 2014

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN VLADIMIR PUTIN IS STANDING ON A CRACKER?



Answer: Putin on the Ritz

And, though this is a year old, and some of you have seen it, this flash mob in Russia is amazing. The crowd participation is exceptional also.




Thursday, January 2, 2014

MUSICAL START TO THE NEW YEAR- 2014


I thought it only fitting to start the New Year by raising the level of artistic forms in music. Modern music lacks the art content and articulation common to music long ago. 

At age 70 I long for the music of my earlier years, so here I give you a tune commonly played on classical music radio station KFWB in Los Angeles in 1959.






I truly regret messing with your mind like that. 

Here is a serious song about nature and the creatures that populate our earth and make our hearts sing:


Well, that did not work out either. I shall thus go clear away from our own nation with its profane music and give you a sampling of something from the Congo in Africa:


Get out of here, all of you. 

You people just expect too much from the past anyway.

:-)