The following questions were set in last year's GED
examination These are genuine answers (from 18 year
olds):
Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt,
pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. How is dew formed
A.. The
sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What
guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A.. If you are buying a
house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a
democratic society, how important are elections
A.. Very important.
Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are
steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot
yourself now, there is little hope)
Q... What happens to
your body as you age
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you
get intercontinental
Q. Name a major disease associated with
cigarettes
A.. Premature death
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it
in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts
of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A, The body is consisted
into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The
brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and
the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
(what!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small
lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A..
Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth
control
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a
condominium. (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term
'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in
Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a
terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A..
Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
AND
THE BEST IS LAST:
Q. What is a
turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a
Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his
head. (now we’re getting somewhere)
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